Wednesday, 20 August 2008

• Unstable Rain!

  I was too "busy" to realize that it was raining just about the entire day. On and off. I heard some thunder and much later heard the soft tapping of the rain hitting the pavement. Why does the sad sky make me feel most warm? I don't know...
  
  I hope that it rains later on tonight. I am willing to turn off the music in order to hear the rain sing instead.
  
  Pretty annoying how unstable rain is down here in Texas. In California it was either raining or it wasn't. None of this, there is rain, there is not, type mess. But what can I do? I can't control mother nature...
  
  Lately I've been thinking wayyy too much. When I do this I start to live in my thoughts to the point where I don't want to snap back into reality. I just sit and listen to music and drift off into my thoughts. Things I am waiting for and hoping for. I'm thinking up ways to improve my level of happiness. I'm trying to understand everything better so that I don't let little things get to me, when really they shouldn't.
  
  I'm searching for something, yet I'm not quite sure what it is?
  
  What I need to do is stop allowing myself to be so lonely. I need to stop myself from neglecting my friends who want to hang out or talk. Because truly I just always feel like I want to be alone. But this really affects me, because then I get too lonely and don't have the nerve to fix it because I was selfish enough to not give any attention to anyone else when they needed it. I'm selfish. Now I know.
  
  Anyway...
  
  Oh!
  Why is it that when you listen to music, then you fall asleep, and you begin to wake up again, it sounds so much more intense?
  I experienced this the night before last. Actually, it's happened many times, but more recently was the night before last, haha.
  
  
  It was so nice, I woke up to "picnic" by THE NOVEMBERS, from their first full album titled, "picnic".
  
  I love this song to death, so it was very nice. So, with this strange thing about waking up to a song and its increased intensity, we can say that it sounded 100x better.
  
  

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